A Monkey Could Do My Job

My current estimate is that, with the proper training, a monkey could do about 85% of what I do. Although I should point out that what I do is not actually a "job" per se, in the sense that I don't actually get paid for it and it's not really much work. When I say "job," I'm referring to the tech work I'm doing for a theatre production at my university.


I'm a board op. (That's short for operator, for the uninitiated. I'm trying to helpful, not condescending!) I run sound. And while the sound board I'm currently sitting in front of has all sorts of fun dials and switches on it, all I actually do during the show is run this computer program called QLab. I don't even pick the music/sound effects; the sound designers do that. I literally just press the space bar when my Stage Manager tells me to. And occasionally adjust levels/cue lengths. But most of it is just pushing a damn button.

The reason I'm bored right now (even though this play is actually really fantastic) is that this is our first day of tech week, and I am ALL ALONE up in the booth because the SMa and light board op are programming lights on the stage--and will probably still be doing that tomorrow, and maybe Wednesday too. Dress rehearsals are usually fun because all the techies and the SM are on headset together and we make fun of the actors or talk about how awesome the smoke looks onstage or whatever, but since most of them are onstage right now they can't really talk without being distracting to the actors. So I'm all alone up here, which is actually kind of a good thing because it lets me write a blog post without getting dirty looks from my SM.

But anyway. It's a really fucking awesome show, and I don't actually know why I'm not just watching the dress rehearsal right now. Except maybe because a) I'll be able to/have to watch dress rehearsals for the next four days and then three performances after that, b) because I am unreasonably tired today and worry about falling asleep, and c) because this show is really emotionally intense and makes me feel kind of depressed.

Ahhhh I just faded out a song and then like 30 seconds later the sound CAME BACK UP. DURING THE SCENE. IT WAS REALLY AWKWARD. And I didn't even register it for a few seconds because that has never ever happened to me with this program before. And they're all going to think it was my fault. Ahhhhggg. People were laughing onstage because it happened at a really tense moment (which is actually, like, the ENTIRE show). Jesus. Fuck I have to pee. But I can't leave until intermission...



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Update: Peed. Also, after the awkward music-spontaneously-playing-fiasco, this music that was supposed to fade out just kept playing and I had to stop it really abruptly. Aaand I accidentally played the intermission music too early (but I only claim about 80% responsibility for because it really did sound like the SM told me to go). But still. Rage.